Friday, 13 July 2012

Better Sex

Better Sex
According to Ayurveda, sex is one of our most divine and powerful natural needs and as long as you are in a state of balance, it should not be repressed. Rather, it should be fully expressed and enjoyed. If you have a partner, you can better use all your senses to enliven and enrich your sexual experiences. If emotional issues are blocking your path – past experiences, cultural conditioning – seek help in removing them.
According to Ayurveda, our fundamental purpose in life is to love. When you realize this and are able to achieve it, your inner love and radiance shines forth and attracts worthy people like honey. Sexual intimacy is but one sublime expression of this love, as well as a means to deepen it. Romantic/erotic love is one of the nine emotions that are natural to life and is a source of rejuvenation, vigor, and beauty.
Most people say they feel better – wonderful, even – after sex. Perhaps you, too, have noticed that the world seems brighter, your skin glows more radiantly, you have a spring in your step, you sleep better, are more relaxed (or more energized) after a night – or afternoon or morning – of lovemaking.
The Bonds of Love
Being radiant and attractive can actually be good for your health. Close relationships appear to improve immunity, reduce the risk of heart attack and cancer, an even prevent the common cold. Numerous studies show that a strong and diverse network of social contacts has a physiological effect on your body and your ability to withstand stress. Humans, so far as we know, are unique in our sexual behavior. We use it not only for reproduction but also to form emotional bonds, and to give and receive pleasure. Perhaps this is why a satisfying sex life seems to be a way to access your inner energetic source of youth and vitality
Understanding Your Sexuality
It’s often observed that people who love themselves and who are at ease in their own skins are those who are most likable and lovable. Ayurveda gives you the tools for this through determining and understanding your doshas, your strengths, and your limitations.Understanding who you are includes understanding how the different doshas express their true selves through their sexuality. There is a great deal of ancient lore on this subject. The guidelines to follow summarize the ways in which your doshas influence your sexual characteristics and suggest which doshas tend to make the best matches. See if this information rings true for you so that you can cultivate your sexual strengths and minimize your limitations. Then consider asking your partner to determine his or her dominant dosha to see if you two are a good match.
Making Sex a Total Sensory Experience All five senses are involved in lovemaking and in the sexual dance that precedes it. According to Ayurveda, your five senses – sight, taste, touch, smell and hearing – are the doorways to your inner being. Your erotic, loving, sexual self is a core component of your inner being. Use your imagination and creativity to experiment with ways to specifically perk up your sex life using the five senses, keeping in mind that preferences for scent, sight, sound, touch and taste are extremely individualized. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Appreciate the Scent of Sex. Fragrance is a potent yet subtle love attractor. Your natural scent may be the most potent of all. Pheromones, the natural scent signals we send out, include androsterone, which has a musky smell and drives libido in both men and women. The highest concentrations of pheromones are in the underarm and genital area. Androsterone is also found in saliva.
Use Aromatherapy. Use aromatic essential oils to enhance your sex appeal and attractiveness or to improve your libido or that of your partner. For your next romantic encounter, light the candles and the aromatherapy diffuser. Oils of patchouli, frankincense, musk, and sandalwood are reported to be aphrodisiacs. To overcome frigidity or impotence, try ylang-ylang. Vanilla is also said to increase sexual desire in men.
Give a Fragrant Massage. Another way to take advantage of the power of scent is to add some sandalwood oil to massage oil and give each other a massage. It contains hormones similar to testosterone, the hormone that drives the libido in both men and women.
Anoint Yourself. In India, the use of aromatic oils is a well-established tradition. To get ready for a night of love, a Hindu woman’s body is anointed with many different scents to arouse her partner. You can be similarly creative with essential oils. Place:
  • Jasmine on her hands
  • Patchouli on her cheek and neck
  • Amber on her nipples
  • Saffron on her feet
  • Sandalwood on her inner thighs
  • Musk on her pubic area
Remember to dilute them first with a carrier oil before applying them to the skin. The most commonly used carrier oil in Ayurveda is sesame, which is particularly suited to vata types. Coconut oil is preferred for pitta types. Flaxseed or almond oil works best for kaphas. For a body or massage oil, the usual ratio is ten drops of essential oil per four ounces of carrier oil.
Condition Your Body. Exercise enhances sexual pleasure in many ways. In a study of sedentary men whose average age was forty-seven, the subjects exercised four times a week. They either took an easy sixty-minute walk or did a more strenuous aerobic workout. At the end of nine months, both groups said they enjoyed an increase in their sexual desire and pleasure and an enhanced ability to be aroused and achieve orgasm. Those who did the more strenuous activity reported the greatest gains. Exercise improves blood flow throughout the entire body, including the penis, and therefore may improve impotence in men. And the endorphins released by strenuous exercise are believed to make you more receptive to sex.
Practice Yoga. Among the many benefits of yoga is an improved sex life. Think about it. Practicing yoga regularly makes all your joints more limber and eases back stiffness and pain so you are able to engage in sex more comfortably and experiment with new positions. Yoga increases your strength and energy, improves your appearance, body shape, tone, and complexion. It is also relaxing and boosts self-confidence and self-esteem while allowing you to feel more at ease, more at home in your body. Many yoga positions are particularly effective for relieving tensions and anxiety, to tone the reproductive organs, balance hormones, and strengthen and tone the pelvic muscles.
Get Playful. There is a smorgasbord of sexual toys available to enhance your sexual pleasure via all the senses – sweet honey dust, tickling feathers, lubricating creams, and so on. These are all in keeping with the philosophy of Ayurveda and are available discreetly through the mail, on the Internet, and in small shops in large cities.


Thursday, 12 July 2012

Loss of Desire
Libido refers to a person's sex drive or desire for sexual activity. The desire for sex is an aspect of a person's sexuality, but varies enormously from one person to another, and it also varies depending on circumstances at a particular time. Sex drive has usually biological, psychological, and social components. Biologically, levels of hormones such as testosterone are believed to affect sex drive; social factors, such as work and family, also have an impact; as do internal psychological factors, like personality and stress. Sex drive may be affected by medical conditions, medications, lifestyle and relationship issues. A person who has extremely frequent or a suddenly increased sex drive may be experiencing hypersexuality, but there is no measure of what is a healthy level for sex. Asexual people may lack any sexual desires. A person may have a desire for sex but not have the opportunity to act on that desire, or may on personal, moral or religious reasons refrain from acting on the urge. Psychologically, a person's urge can be repressed or sublimated. On the other hand, a person can engage in sexual activity without an actual desire for it. Males reach the peak of their sex drive in their teens, while women reach it in their thirties
A sex drive can be viewed in terms of a general desire for sex or in terms of desire for sex with a particular person. A general desire for sex is an important motivator for the formation and maintenance of intimate relationships in both men and women, and a lack or loss of sexual desire can have an adverse impact on a relationship. A general change in desire for sex by either partner in a relationship for any reason if sustained and unresolved may result in a lack or loss of sexual desire for the other partner, which may cause problems in the relationship. Infidelity may be an indication of a continuing general desire for sex, though not with the primary partner or because personal sexual needs cannot be satisfied adequately by that partner. Problems can arise from the loss of sexual desire in general or for the partner or a lack of connection with the partner, or poor communication of sexual needs and preferences
Psychological perspectives
Freud viewed libido as passing through a series of developmental stages within the individual. Failure to adequately adapt to the demands of these different stages could result in libidinal energy becoming 'dammed up' or fixated in these stages, producing certain pathological character traits in adulthood. Thus the psychopathologized individual for Freud was an immature individual, and the goal of psychoanalysis was to bring these fixations to conscious awareness so that the libido energy would be freed up and available for conscious use in some sort of constructive sublimation.
Psychological factors
Psychological factors can reduce the desire for sex. These factors can include lack of privacy and/or intimacy, stress or fatigue, distraction or depression. Environmental stress, such as prolonged exposure to elevated sound levels or bright light, can also affect libido. Other causes include experience of sexual abuse, assault, trauma, or neglect, body image issues and sexual performance anxiety.
Some people have suggested that contraception may influence the desire for sex by women, by decreasing the anxiety level from an unexpected pregnancy.
Physical factors
Physical factors that can affect libido include: endocrine issues such as hypothyroidism, levels of available testosterone in the bloodstream of both women and men, the effect of certain prescription medications (for example flutamide), various lifestyle factors and the attractiveness and biological fitness of one's partner. Inborn lack of sexual desire, often observed in asexual people, can also be considered a physical factor.
Being very underweight or malnourished can cause a low libido due to disruptions in normal hormonal levels. There is also evidence to support that specific foods have an effect on libido.
Anemia is particularly a cause of lack of libido in women due to the loss of iron during the period.
Smoking, alcohol abuse and drug abuse may also cause disruptions in the hormonal balances and therefore leads to a decreased libido. However, specialists suggest that several lifestyle changes such as drinking milk, exercising, quitting smoking, lower consumption of alcohol or using prescription drugs may help increase one's sexual desire. Moreover, learning stress management techniques can be helpful for individuals who experience libido impairment due to a stressful life.
Reduced libido is also often iatrogenic and can be caused by many medications, such as hormonal contraception, SSRIs and other antidepressants, antipsychotics, opioids and beta blockers. In some cases iatrogenic impotence or other sexual dysfunction can be permanent, as in post-SSRI sexual dysfunction (PSSD).
Testosterone is one of the hormones controlling libido in human beings. Emerging research is showing that hormonal contraception methods like "the pill" (which rely on estrogen and progesterone together) are causing low libido in females by elevating levels of sex hormone binding globulin (SHBG). SHBG binds to sex hormones, including testosterone, rendering them unavailable. Research is showing that even after ending a hormonal contraceptive method, SHBG levels remain elevated and no reliable data exists to predict when this phenomenon will diminish.
Testosterone and menstrual cycle
A woman's desire for sex is correlated to her menstrual cycle, with many women experiencing a heightened sexual desire in the several days immediately before ovulation.
This cycle has been associated with changes in a woman's testosterone levels during the menstrual cycle. According to Gabrielle Lichterman, testosterone levels have a direct impact on a woman's interest in sex. According to her, testosterone levels rise gradually from about the 24th day of a woman's menstrual cycle until ovulation on about the 14th day of the next cycle, and during this period the woman's desire for sex increase consistently. The 13th day is generally the day with the highest testosterone levels. In the week following ovulation, the testosterone level is the lowest and as a result women will experience less interest in sex.
Also, during the week following ovulation, progesterone levels increase, resulting in a woman experiencing difficulty achieving orgasm. Although the last days of the menstrual cycle are marked by a constant testosterone level, women's libido may boost as a result of the thickening of the uterine lining which stimulates nerve endings and makes a woman feel aroused. Also, during these days, estrogen levels also decline, resulting in a decrease of natural lubrication.
Although some specialists disagree with this theory, menopause is still considered by the majority a factor that can cause decreased sex desire in women. The levels of estrogen decrease at menopause and this usually causes a lower interest in sex and vaginal dryness which makes intercourse painful. Also, the levels of testosterone increase at menopause and this is why some women may experience a contrary effect, of an increased libido.
Sexual desire disorders
There is no measure of what is a healthy level for sex desire. Some people want to have sex every day, or more than once a day; others once a year or not at all. However, a person who lacks a desire for sexual activity for some period of time may be experiencing a hypoactive sexual desire disorder or may be asexual. A sexual desire disorder is more common in women, but rare in men. Erectile dysfunction is more common in men and may be a cause for the lack of sexual desire, but with which it should not be confused. Moreover, specialists have brought to attention that libido impairment may not even occur in cases of men with erectile dysfunction.
Physical changes in the vagina that affect libido
At some point in their lives, approximately 50% of women experience thinning, tightening, dryness, and atrophy (a decrease in muscle mass) in the vulva and vagina. These changes can cause irritation, soreness, itching, and severe pain during sex, as well as embarrassing urinary frequency and urgency. Due to which low libido may occur in women.
Effects of stress on sex drive
Most of us know that chronic stress isn’t healthy, but we may not realize the toll it takes on libido. The body interprets ongoing stress as life threatening, so naturally, survival is prioritized ahead of pleasure. Stress over-burdens the adrenal glands, “stealing” the substances normally used to make estrogens and testosterone, both vital to desire and sexual response.